Apathy is usually a brilliant way of making people ignore the crass injustices of our world. And what better way to ignite apathy than treat you all to a fine cuisine of first-class stuffings that will fatten all Arsenal fans up like gorillas to ignore the blatant lack of any proper football as international commitments arrive.
The starter for today is, fittingly, a hairless orangutan, who has been caught out by the press with regards to his dubious diamond dealings. While he is not a defendant in the case (at least, this is what his PR firm tells us), the investigation concerns Usmanov being the chairman for the diamond company in question, AGD. All fun and games for the likes of Peter Hill-Wood, who have reiterated before that they dont want Usmanov around the club, given his murky financial history.
But enough of the gorilla. Kolo Toure has spoken out against Sunderland’s McShane’s tackle against Hleb in the last match which saw him receive a straight red. King Kolo Gorilla says:
“The referee did well to send him off. The damage could have been a lot worse. I spoke to Alex afterwards in the dressing room and I said, ‘They want to kill you.’ He is such a great player. Teams want to stop him. But he is okay. He was having a massage afterwards and seemed alright.“
There’s also an interview on Arsenal.com with Kolo, about how there’s a long way yet to go in this year’s title race, and for now, the team is taking it one game at a time. The stand-in captain had this to say:
“Last season was much different. When we were 1-0 down and the other team was playing better than us it was really difficult for us to come back. Now we are patient and when we have the chance to score we do it and that’s good.“
Gael ‘Spider-monkey’ Clichy reiterated this team-morale (it’s all rather repetitive, per usual), saying:
“We did not win anything in the last two seasons. So we asked ourselves some questions. Last season we had difficulties against the ‘smaller’ teams. This season we have more trust in ourselves, we face the physical fight and we enjoy attacking. The state of mind has changed. Everyone wants to fight for his team-mate. We can go far.“
Other news concerns injuries – more specifically, William Gallas’ bodily troubles. He has said that he is fit to play for France, and could even have played against Sunderland (“but what about Senderoooos?”…). Gallas says:
“Physically, everything is fine. I resumed training on Friday and I will be able to play with France on Saturday.“
Furthermore, if it interests you at all, you’ll be *very pleased* (irony? sarcasm?) to know that not only is Myles’ Arsenal News Review more fittingly ‘Other-teams-News-Review‘ with his new shiny colours, he’s also showering some splendorous praise upon the likes of that awful player known as Solomon Kalou. Tenacious? Misses chances but keeps going? Try labelling the much more effective Emmanuel Adebayor that, next time, Myles.