Usmanov’s PR and Transfer Blubber is all Rubbish

Of all things to take place in the news at this stage of the season, it’s transfer rumours.

One of these that I have refused to give the time of day to, until now, are the Miguel Veloso (whoever he is) rumours which have gone on for more than a month, now. Users and abusers of NewsNow would know enough of that name popping up repeatedly in the mire of rubbish blogs and ‘news reporters’ who go on about Taraabt being the next Zidane because he played five minutes at the end of a Spurs match, and Klaas Jan Huntelaar being really cool because he scores as many goals as that brilliant Serbian, Mateja Kezman.

The only reason I’d cave in and mention it now is because Sky Sports have gone and done the same thing. Is he a brilliant winger that will scoot down the left ala Bobby Pires? Is he a stern central defender that will put Kolo Toure on the bench? Is he…a defensive midfielder that would face competition with the likes of Flamini, Gilberto, Alex Song, Lassana Diarra, Denilson, and even Johann Djourou and Kolo Toure at a stretch, all at the ‘this-aint-a-gamble!’ price of 20 million quid? Ah. Of course. Just had to be the latter, didn’t it?

Right. Scrunch him up into the bin, then. More rumours abound in the form of Hatem Ben-Arfa of Lyon (le Striker…), and Argentine (ooo, he must be good!) Augusto Fernandez. With the latter, it’s really just the press finding a name that sounds like it would become the next Ayala “Fernandez, shoots from fifty meteeeeeeeers! Fernandez!!!” (See?). Besides, the fact he hasn’t played a game for his country means that work permits simply will not come by his way, and you can forget that name. As for Ben-Arfa, who knows. We’re not in diabolical need of a striker, with Bendtner getting itchy, and shed loads of youth prospects like Sunu and Simpson waiting around.

To continue with *yawn* transfer-rumours, Gilberto is now being linked with a move to Valencia come the January transfer window for £7million. This happening is much more feasible than the speculative ‘ins’ reported on before – Gilberto, now that Makele is on the wane, is one of the top players of his position, and yet still cannot find his way into the side. A lot like Cudicini for Chelsea, only…Cudicini did not complain at all and just ate his veal received from lofty salaries.

I still believe that Gilberto will make his way back into the side this season, especially with the prospects of injuries, and especially near December, with fixture congestion. Another player trying to make his way back into the side, Jens Lehmann, performed well for Germany the other night, and now expects to be handed his spot back. Wait and see, shall we

Finally, Craig Murray does the work for me in brilliantly chastising The Times’ Franchetti’s PR fellatio for Alisher Usmanov. Read Franchetti’s article: It’s oh-so-staged. I hope that wine makes his kidneys fail.

Don’t you wish there was better news to report? Not much, unless you’re a Springbok fan. Which I guess I’m the only one here, so I’ll just shut up. Democratic tyrants, the lot of you!

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