10 Reasons why Spurs do not deserve to even play against Arsenal

It’s hot in this part of the world – and it has been for quite a long, dreary stretch of time. The kind of hot that puts you in the right kind of bad mood for a good old fashioned rant, Third-Gen style.

But first, Arsene Wenger has spoken about the team’s midfield trio of Rosicky, Hleb and Fabregas, saying it is Rosicky’s ‘Pires-like qualities’ and Hleb’s drive that, of late, have seen the club get the goals it needs. The manager says:

When you get that kinds of vibes out from a team, that means they are all on the same wavelength. At the moment, I feel we can score from everywhere – Rosicky, Fabregas they can score, Hleb maybe scores less, but he makes others score.

We have certainly seen Rosicky become more integrated and much more dangerous a player in the last few matches. Some may take longer than others, but Tomas is beginning to look like a real Arsenal player with his incisive runs, crisp passing and better finishing. Kudos to those that engineered the improvement.

Speaking of improvement, Emmanuel Adebayor has had quite a bit to say about Arsenal’s title chances, as well as where he got his heralded jumping ability from. It involves balls on string and his mother’s house in Lome, Togo. So it’s bound to be a good story.

Our main pallette of the story today comes from our pesky little neighbours down the road, who have done exactly as they did last season in upping their ticket prices to £74 for a league cup semi. Arsenal wanted to keep their own ticket prices as low as £20, but Spurs insisted that money was their main aim from the draw, and kept thousands of fans out of the door for the Emirates tie.

The justification for the price hike comes from Tottenham’s director, Paul Barber, who says:

A cup semi-final against our biggest rivals is just about the biggest game anyone could see at White Hart Lane. Our policy is to take the Carling Cup very seriously. We put out our first team.

Such statements of blindingly low ambition inspired me to come up with ten equally blinding reasons as to why Spurs do the Premier League a disservice into kidding themselves that we are ‘their rivals’. Enjoy…:

  1. Spurs remain a team with an eye off the ball: A squad so hopelessly obsessed with the mediocre position of ‘4th on the log’ buys fittingly mediocre players in the form of Kaboul and Darren Bent, only to flirt with relegation more times than is healthy, while Everton and Man City fight more realistically for that ‘magical’ fourth spot.
  2. Their fans demand a racist quota of English players in preference to Arsenal’s ‘foreign legion’: The irony of which is baffling when they continue to worship the new King of Sulk from Bulgaria, and some French youngster rediculously overhyped as ‘the next Zidane’.
  3. Daniel Levy and his Accountant Ways: Ripping off home and away fans alike with extortionate pricing of tickets? Standard fare for one of the more reviled board members in the game.
  4. Choker central: the old ‘2-0 up and you f—ed it up’ applies in triplicate here. This team makes the South African cricket team look like men of steel temperaments.
  5. Deluded, naive fans: How many times do we have to put up with Spurs fans complaining that ‘we did not really put out our second string team’ when we made it to last year’s Carling Cup Final at their expense? It’s a constant, unashamed admission of their inferiority, as if playing our first team against theirs is a crime against humanity.
  6. The obsession with Arsenal: This has detrimented Spurs to no end. The poor mid-table club that is obsessed with playing their neighboiur’s beautiful football, the quest for the new stadium, and their yearning for Champions League football having not won the league in donkey’s years, is ecclipsed by the act of greatest hypocrisy last season: Zokora’s famous dive in the 06/07 season was quickly hushed up and excused as ‘everyone does it’, flying in the face of years of rubbishing the brilliant Robert Pires as nothing more than a chronic diver.
  7. What a pretty collection of managers you have there…: Don’t ask me to recall all the managers they have had since Wenger’s arrival, because I cannot possibly recall all of them. Spurs give Newcastle a run for their money in delirium with the arrival of Juande Ramos as ‘White Hart Lane’s Saviour’.
  8. Get a decent team, please: A sieve for a defence, and blobs for midfielders. No need to mention any goalies, neither…
  9. “Wenger-bus is coming…”: The most dispicable chant of the lowest standards imaginable. There is no manager that has had to go through more than Wenger when it comes to disgusting, libelous and jealous chants from the Spurs’ terraces. Arsenal fans did themselves no favours with calling Glenn Roeder ‘tumour boy’, and while no fans are perfect, can you compare a once-off (which was rightly lambasted as ‘sick’) to slander that has now run on for so many seasons?
  10. You’re only rivals for posterity’s sake: A team has to prove themselves to beconsidered a rival to a title-contending team. Arsenal’s rivals are Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, and other teams like AC Milan and Barcelona. Spurs have Everton, Man City or Fulham and Sunderland for company, depending on your slant.

And believe me, if you yourself had just written all of that, you’d feel like there was a good, annoying weight off your chest, let me assure you.

And with that, I’m off for a nice bowl of fried rice. Match previews with all the bells and whistles up tomorrow – I’m getting an absurdly good feeling about the Semi Final just around the corner.

We all know it makes sense.

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21 Comments

Filed under Arsenal, Blogging, Carling Cup, English Premier League, Features, Tottenham

21 responses to “10 Reasons why Spurs do not deserve to even play against Arsenal

  1. Brilliant post there. Add to that – Martin Jol and Juande Ramos have actually praised Arsene’s ways and his style. Juande himself admitted to molding Sevilla on an “Arsenal style”.

  2. Jimi

    Thats 30 minutes of your life you’ll never get back….

  3. J.Sanderson

    Lmfao Brilliantm Always a good read Third – Gen

    Come On Msn Man I Neeed To Speak To You

  4. Clock End Gooner

    Good to hear a good old fashioned rant! ha ha!

    Too many people sit on the fence & make sure not to offend!

    Can I add a number 11.

    11. Yids claim to be the best fans in the league (ha ha), yet when things get a little bit hairy down the Lane, they are the first to stage mass walk outs, chant for the managers head & even throw their season tickets onto the pitch, when it gets too much!

    ha ha! Fucking yid flid mugs! They’re always good for a laugh! ha ha!

  5. Daryl Tay

    i love it =)

  6. Spicy Meatball

    I loved that article, one of my best friends is a spud & even he had to agree with most of that. He does still consider us ‘rivals’ though so I let him have that little dream.

  7. (artist formerly known as)eboue's hand

    Has that John demetriou fool not been on yet to post some ludicrous comeback? His comments about our “boring and negative” style of play remind me of those teenagers who call anyone with a hot girlfriend gay.

    And if I may add number 12 to the list: We now have exactly double Spurs points total in the league. Personally, I don’t care that much if our youth team loses to them tomorrow, we all know they are a shadow of the club that Arsenal are.

  8. Ole Gunner

    If they don’t beat us this time with all their motivation and our depleted team I think we should call off the rivalry and start one with West ham. Frankly West Ham have been more of a match for us than the lily white cunts. I don’t see them beating us tomorrow. The last game was worse than “2-nil and you fucked it up”. If they couldn’t beat our young guns with their full side, while our kids played their worst game till date, they simply don’t have the means to beat us.

  9. Anonymous

    THE TINY TOTT SPUDDIES………… heheheee they make laugh. LD(little dutch) over at vital arsenal said that God gives everyone equal opportunity untill it looks like the spuddies are on the verge of winning the he intervines and they choke. classic

  10. Slippery When Wet

    The justification for the price hike comes from Tottenham’s director, Paul Barber, who says:

    “A semi-final in a Worthless Cup noone cares about and uses as an excuse to blood the reserves against the team we are most jealous of is just about the biggest game anyone could see at White Hart Lane – and definitely the most important game since our surrender to Blackburn in the Worthless Cup final a few years back. Our policy is to take the Worthless Cup very seriously even though noone else does. We want to add to the Peace Cup we won two years ago. We put out our first team.“

  11. Ryan

    “Deluded, naive fans: How many times do we have to put up with Spurs fans complaining that ‘we did not really put out our second string team’ when we made it to last year’s Carling Cup Final at their expense? It’s a constant, unashamed admission of their inferiority, as if playing our first team against theirs is a crime against humanity.”

    Hahaha, I did laugh…

    Although as an Arsenal fan I must admit Arsenal fans are a bit obsessed with them too. I mean I know they make those hilarious claims which we feel required to respond to, but you’ve got to admit beating them twice, however easy that may be, will easy be one of the highlights of a league campaign.

  12. Trennon

    Yeeee Haaaaaa. Great article. Spurs. What a joke of a team. It was so nice to see Aaron Lennon fighting to get out of Clichy’s pocket. Personally I am really looking forward to the game tomorrow. Spurs will be the favourite and you just know they cannot handle that kind of pressure! 3-1 (4-2) on agg. Spurs to score first and the kids to score 3 in the final 15 minutes.

  13. Brian

    What drivel!

    In response:-
    1. 4th is out of reach for us this season… But, I have faith in us to restore us to top-half this season.. Just a shocking start, beginning, and near middle of season… But expect to see us in the top half by the end. Not low-ambition, just realistic.

    2. Racist? lol.. No, just pride in an english backbone…

    3. Average price is £34 per home game.. Seems relatively reasonable to me…

    4. Chocker central… Agree, 2-nil and we did… Hence, next manager was more tactically astute.

    5. Think this one is more about arsenal than spurs. When is your second team put out? Wish we had £10m + players and internationals playing in our second team.. Might give you a bit more run for the money. Irrespective, we can only play the team you put out… Win or lose, is pretty much all that counts, and sadly we’ve been found lacking… Still, made for entertaining games though.

    6. Obsessed with Arsenal? No, just the old enemy. When the British invaded half the known world and built an empire, do you think everyone forgave them when it finally crumbled… Some stil bear a grudge. Well, remember your roots, and remember you need to go back to woolwich at some point.

    7. No idea what gripe you think we’ve got there… And yeah, we’re not too happy with our managerial turnover, but thats our fault for employing some suspect characters. Ramos seems ok, but time will tell..

    8. A decent team? Well, I’d have thought you’d have preferred us to keep the status quo if they were so bad. Only a spurs supporter would want us to better. Hvae you got a secret?

    9. lol… I know of no facts about his sexual preferences, thus cannot comment further. lol.

    10. Rivals? Well if we’re not rivals, why did you devote so much time to your blog, and me the response. If we’re not rivals, does that mean you’ll forfeit tmrw nights semi-final? If we’re not rivals, if we win, will you care? I suspect the rivallry goes deeper than most. You’re definitional of rivallry is based on football alone.. Our hatred of your team, your manager, your success and your location, and the various other incidents from over 100 years of rivallry, run into more than football reasons… If that doesn’t make us rivals, then maybe we are friends who simply must agree to disagree.

    Finally, to sum up… Hope its a good game tmrw night and that Spurs make the final at your expense. 2nd team, 1st team, who cares… We can only play and hopefully beat the team you put out.

  14. Gun_1

    I have supported Arsenal for over 35 years. When i was younger, i really considered Spurs a rival club. I used to hate them so much. Wow…how things have changed. I simply do not consider them as rivals anymore. In any game now that we play them (and for the last 10 years, i expect us to win and anything else is just a disapointment with the exception of the CC for obvious reasons. Even the old ‘London Derby’ is finished these days with teams like Chelsea and West Ham proving more troublesome fixtures.

  15. Pedro

    Nice post, I’m still waiting to go and have a word with the chap he told me at the start of this season I was a “Deluded sad Arsenal fan” when I suggested we would win the league (Spurs were definitely finishing above us and Bent was the missing piece of the jigsaw.).

    He was the same fan who goaded me all year when it looked like the spuds would nab 4th spot, then when they lost it he told me it was for the best as they wouldn’t have done so well in the Champs league.

    Point 5:

    ‘we did not really put out our second string team’

    You make reference to putting up with that last year, I had to repeat myself about 50 times this year whilst watching the game trying to convince Spurs fans that was in fact our second team.

    Another one to add to the list:

    How many of your players actually play for England?

    Robinson (No chance under Fabio), King (Doubtful with Barry taking over), Jenas (Puuuurlease), Lennon (No way), Dawson (nope), Defoe (Doubtful).

    I enjoy the rivalry though because Spud fans are ever so similar to Manc fans.

  16. I disagree.

    The comic relief we get in having them as our so called ‘rivals’ is just priceless. I just don’t know what I enjoy more, the amount of delusion they are in or their quality defending and goalkeeping every game.

    We should give them a win in the beer cup for all the laughs they gave us this past decade at least. 9 yrs without a win.

  17. You fuckin gooners!! Fuck off!
    You’re shit and you know you are!
    Walcott scores with his arm ffs!! Same old arsenal allways cheating!
    Fuck off ars*ANAL!
    Welcome to White Hart Lane ::

  18. Honey Badger

    To Brian,

    (1) I’ll be surprised to see you as high as eleventh!
    (2) English Backbone – if you are good enough, I couldn’t care less where you are from – just so long as Arsenal win!
    (3) Can we agree that ticket prices are overpriced when you cannot guarantee the type of performance you expect from the “entertainers” on the field of play? Maybe £10 per performance is exceptable not £37!!!
    (4) Ramos better than Jol, definitely. But if you win, you will still only have beaten our youngsters, first time this millenium!
    (5) See point 4!
    (6) Know thyne Enemy – I can recall your roots – a cricket club dabbing it’s hand in football! No wonder we moved out of Woolwich, there was nothing in north London for us to compete with – just NorthEast London! A successful London side would have won the League at least 5 times! Surely? Perhaps you should consider moving to the Olympics Stadium with West Ham!
    (7) Actually, Ramos at Seville looked OK, at Spurs who knows – but how your lot treat Jol – dispicable!
    As far as the rest is concerned – I do believe your lot is improving but I also think you are in Dreamland if you think that you can overtake the Arsenal!

    And of course I wish that our kids are as succesful tomorrow as they were last year – at least!

  19. Anonymous

    1 mistake though, the england cricket team r even worse than the south africans

  20. Karan

    Hey guyz dont u fink we are fcuked now??????????
    5-1, i mean datz pathetic……….
    i cant recall wen we lost wid such a 5 goals & dat also by spurs….
    wat d hell??
    d article in one of d sites say :

    Theo’s still a boy in man’s world:

    His fluky equaliser in the first leg was his first and only goal in domestic action this campaign. And the No.32 he wears on his back is still more than the 24 first-teams starts he has made for Arsenal.

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    Nicklas Bendtner, his strike partner last night, has scored more goals – five – since returning from his loan spell at Birmingham last season than Walcott’s four in his Arsenal career.

    A semi-final at the home of their local rivals in front of the new England manager was a chance for Walcott to show he can deliver on the big stage.

    But instead, with his Arsenal side badly needing inspiration, he fluffed his lines. The 18-year-old was pushed around by Spurs centre-backs Ledley King and Michael Dawson like two bullies picking on a little boy on his first day at a new school. Even Lee Young-Pyo seemed to tower over him.

    He made one surge down the inside left channel in the first half only to see his shot blocked by a combination of Radek Cerny and Dawson. But Teemu Tainio, playing the midfield holding role, cut off the supply line and King gave the kind of towering display which changes Tottenham from relegation candidates to cup finalists.

    Even before the break the frustrated Arsenal fans were calling for the introduction of the physical presence of Emmanuel Adebayor from the bench. And when the Togo striker did make a belated appearance on 65 minutes, it was Walcott who made way. And within seconds, Adebayor had found the back of the net.

    Wenger said of Walcott at the weekend: “He will get to where I expect him to be, but at the moment he is not.” The wait goes on.

  21. patsy fagan

    One thing that is glaringly obvious is how good the spurs fans were in getting behind their team,best support ive seen all year home and away..
    They shamed evertons supporters in the other semi final leg and it meant just as much to everton apparently..
    without doubt white hart lane was rocking compared to the new library at the emirates..they are on the road to success play good football have a good manager and with hutton and woodgate drafted in are a real match for any team in the league..thats fact.