Bendtner Is Five Times the Player Adebayor is…

A day off yesterday after taking care of some private-business matters. I know most of you will be baying for my blood with the chants ‘no holidays for bloggers’, but your efforts will be in vain. My exile is both extremely secure and ultimately secret. Bwahaha.

Of course, yesterday would have seen the match report on Arsenal’s thumping 3-0 win over Newcastle in the FA Cup 4th Round – with Arsenal striker and teenage delinquent Adebayor fluking two lucky goals as a grim Bendtner watched from the bench, angry at his lack of opportunity in a side he would be scoring braces for in every match.

Such was Adebayor’s luck that, after a first half which involved end-to-end stuff from both sides, he profited from a post-rebound from Eduardo’s shot to pop the ball in the net to open Arsenal’s scoring, sliding along the ground in celebration – as if he actually meant to score.

-{…I think we are all sick of seeing the useless Togolese forward in Arsenal colours.}-

The man’s streak was not over, as he bungled his way past a few (many) Newcastle defenders over a stretch of 47 meters to slot one in from the edge of the area for 2-0. Arsenal completed the scoring spree with Nicky Butt heading into his own net from a Fabregas free kick near the end of the second half.

Simply put, I think we are all sick of seeing the useless Togolese forward in Arsenal colours. What does Bendtner have to do to get into this side with the obviously lacklustre, couldnt-care-less player we have in Emmanuel up front? Anyone else would be scoring double hattricks in this side, and Adebayor is plainly an embarrassment. Wenger has lost the plot completely with this man, and I would not begrudge Bendtner a move to Portsmouth before a big club comes calling.

The lucky striker (Adebayor) used his brace against Newcastle as an excuse to hide his spat with Bendtner under the carpet, comparing the fight to a father/son relationship, saying:

Sometimes it does happen. A child can fight with his father and they are still friends. I tried to motivate him and he took it in the wrong way. Then I did a little bit – I have to work at that as well. These are the things that make me laugh. Sometimes things like that happen. It is finished because we are footballers and we all play for Arsenal and that is more important.

Absolute mad-spanners, that. I spell in the reserves will show the useless scorer of 18 goals this season a thing or two.

-{…(Jens Lehmann) insists he wants to stay and resurrect his career at Arsenal…}-

Speaking of the reserves, Arsene Wenger has insisted the younger players should have been ‘congratulated’ for their antics in the Carling Cup, rather than the ‘slaughter’ they recieved at the hands of Spurs. Wenger adamantly said:

We have been slaughtered because we lost, but overall the team did very well in the Carling Cup. We decided at the start of the season to use this competition to give them experience – and overall instead of being congratulated they have been slaughtered. But it is the learning process of being in a big club.

From young players to old, we head to Jens Lehmann’s corner, who has refused a move to Germany after fearing for his family’s safety in ‘crime ridden’ London. The goalkeeper insists he wants to stay and resurrect his career at Arsenal, against all odds, most would say. Perhaps a Champions League final appearance after Almunia stubs his toe in the 18th minute, saving a penalty for Lehmann to have a big lob to save against the resurgent Fenerbache would be grand-tastic. Who knows…

In other news, there’s a report on Rosicky’s fight for fitness for the next Newcastle fixture,the fee for Yoann Gouffran’s summer-transfer to come looks to be £5million, with the club also being heavily linked to a certain Dzeko and Dutch goalie Valthuizen.

All for now, chappies. Miss me violently until the next time.

PS: Spot the satire in the article.

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84 Comments

Filed under Arsenal, Blogging, Carling Cup, English Premier League, FA Cup, Match Reports, Tottenham

84 responses to “Bendtner Is Five Times the Player Adebayor is…

  1. Nnamdi

    You have reserve the right to write rubbish. so keep writing out of your madness

  2. jammathon

    I’m going to enjoy some of the responses tonight. Long-time readers will know what’s going on, here.

  3. suitstiks

    whoever wrote this is a complete piss of shit, go fuck urself, u dont know what ur talking about, if bendtner was playing we probably would be third or fourth by now.
    ur just a fucking racist, go support another club loser.

  4. arsenalroc

    as an aussie gooner i am ashamed- a country where we do everything for sport and give credit where it is due… u sir are an idiot
    Ade worked tierelesly through the whole game. He is NOT henry,bergkamp or kanu but a great player in his own right. 5 goals in 3 games, 18 for the season… tell me where he has gone wrong?

  5. Nate

    If he is so useless then why is his image part of your banner!

  6. romario

    you don’t go and see the matches.Bendtner has got the potential to be a very a good player but at the moment Ade is a far better player by miles.The Carling Cup should have proved to you that at the moment Ade is our main striker.There was no lucky on those goals.That was sheer class.Please don’t let your hatred of Ade blind you to reality.

  7. johnnybergkamp

    Oh good Christ, the stupids must be up early…

  8. Bert the Blert

    Yep – that guy Clichy is a waste of space too! Couldnt we ship him out like we did that toe poker Henry?

  9. wandarah

    no idea if the above post is brilliant, or a big neon sign that says ‘retard’.

  10. east at the grove

    Has everybody lost the ability to spot irony in this country? Jeeeeeez kids, grow up for fuck sake.

    That Fabregas kid has to go aswell. Useless.

  11. wandarah

    oops, by above post i meant the ‘racist’ one.

  12. wandarah

    um, by above post i mean the one calling le blogger ‘racist’.

  13. California Steve

    Of course I’m assuming this whole piece was written tongue in cheek.

    The alternative is too frightening to consider.

    There is a serious side to the whole Ade-Bendtner affair, though. The kid and his father are convinced Bendtner is the greatest striker to set foot on English soil, that Adebayor should perhaps just be sold outright, etc.

    Bendtner already has a history of teammate problems. Gravesen was pretty keen to knock him senseless during a Danish national game, and there have been a few other incidents — not even counting his demands for first-team football and all of that.

    Even though Steve Bruce wanted to keep Bendtner at Birmingham, there was a considerable section of the support there who felt the young man was far more trouble than the 10 or 11 goals he was worth — and a bit lazy when he wasn’t in the mood, to boot.

    Obviously Wenger has been attracted to Bendtner’s potential, and yes, it’s there. But at a team like Arsenal, only the best will survive — Adebayor clearly falls into that category — and someone who makes things unpleasant is going to have talented players in a queue behind him.

    Bottom line: I’d be surprised if Bendtner is around all that long. At least at Arsenal. He’ll wind up someplace where his talent is more important than the fact that he annoys everybody.

    Oh, and my favourite bit in your post was the desscription of Ade as he “bungled” his way past the Newcastle defenders on the second goal. Loved it. Did you notice that helpful body-block that Eduardo planted on someone to help clear the way for that goal?

    It’s 2 a.m. here in California and I appreciate the chuckle from your post.

    Meanwhile, I say swap Bendtner for Kaka! Make Milan throw in cash, as well!

    Cheers!

  14. Daryl Tay

    i’m not quite sure where the hate for Adebayor is coming from cause i’m a new reader to the blog, but surely 18 goals for Arsenal this season is something? Not to mention that win he can claim credit for over Man U a season or so ago?

  15. wonnie

    yup and that cesc fellow to absolute rubish no wonder diarra a player who is twice as good as him left for a bigger club

  16. gaya

    at last we have uncovered a rasist in our mist

  17. Jotski

    Hehehe. Nice one jammathon.
    I can`t belive the abuse Ade gets from some of the so called “gunners fans” around the arsenal blogs.
    Without Ade, this season would have been another nightmare (fighting for 4th place).
    Let`s get behind Ade as our new main striker. He has been fantastic for us this season, and he`s gonna be even better in the years to come !!!!
    Bendtner is a great talent, but is not near Ades level. Yet.

    Jotski (Norway)

  18. sakthi

    I do agree to this article to some extend. Ade wants everyone to pass the ball to him but he never passes the ball to others who are all in a better postion and ade is benefitted from our midfield. Bendtner will become one of the best center forwards in world soon…. I belive, he will stay with arsenal

  19. Nayan

    I haven’t seen someone slag off an arsenal player with such biased cock-eyed drivel since the last time Adrian Durham opened his cakehole.

    Point one: Adebayor combining his workrate with shooting boots is taking the team forward
    POint two: This irrational hatred of a man who is delivering goals is putting the writer on a par with Spurs fans
    POint three: please dont presume to speak for all of us when you pontificate about how ‘we are all sick of this’
    point four: This blog is more Third Rate than Third Gen.

    twunt.

  20. Faceman

    Gentlemen,

    In future I would take the time to read the whole article, including the last line, before you hastily post your responses. I would also advise that you invest in a dictionary and look up the word satire!

    To the author – I have been reading this for a week or so now (I realise I could have picked a better week) and I am really impressed with your honesty and your opinion. It is refreshing compared to most of the other completely bigoted sites. Keep up the good work as I will be reading every day.

    Same again tomorrow night!!

    Face

  21. Steve

    I LOL’d. Its such a shame that people cant read or understand irony or sarcasm. ( at least I hope it was that…..)

  22. hibri dan

    why .. oh why .. write trash like this ? perhaps, as the first commentator seemed to imply, it is deliberately designed to lure gooners to come and read your blog, but think of the bigger picture .. what type of supporter are you ? what are you hoping to achieve in support of arsenal with stuff like this ?

    I am almost 100% certain you are not a gooner .. more like a spud trying to spread disunity amongst gooners .. go hide your face in shame …

  23. Reidish

    I think you’ve conclusively proved either that Arsenal fans don’t really get satire or they utterly lack a sense of humour. Shame. But actually, the irony is, I think there’s a grain of truth here. Ade is not destined to become an Arsenal great.

  24. bisho

    I cant believe this stupid blogger. this guys article is absolute rubbish,reading it makes me sick.

  25. James

    Oh for God’s sake, there are some real idiots on here. Can’t any of you read? “PS: Spot the satire in the article.” Even if that disclaimer hadn’t been there, its obvious that this article was written with tongue lodged firmly in cheek. Sigh…

  26. Ole Gunner

    This really cracked me up. Thanks for ribbing the silly anti-Adebayor crowd.

  27. phoenix

    yeah.. it’s unbelieveable how these people are cursing the blogger for such an obvious sarcasm.
    can’t you see what he was trying to do?

    I agree with Reidish though that.. sometimes.. I just feel that Adebayor is lacking something to be up there alongside the other Arsenal greats.

  28. Laith

    I agree that Ade has scored some great goals, but would also say that he could do with passing the ball a little more… he seems to have benefited from Henry’s pep talk ‘telling him not to think too much and to try things’ but I honestly think that a traditional ‘average’ striker could score as many as he does in our team!

    He always scores a great goal, but on the other hand wastes so many of the easier chances! does no-one else see that?

  29. Anonymous

    What an absolute idiot you are……must be a yid !!!

  30. Steve

    Actually the only thing lacking is the consistency across a number of seasons and that depends upon whether he can prove he has class as well as form.

  31. Scooch

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Read the whole article before posting!!! The writer is NOT being serious!!!

    Bendtner is a great prospect. But Ade seems to be getting better and better this season. Both his goals on saturday were fantastic. He’s grown up a hell of a lot over the last 18 months.

    Bendtner does seem to have an over-inflated view of himself. His first touch is great. But he’s still young and not quite the player that I think he thinks he is.

    Just a quick note on Senderos, hoyte and Theo’s performances on saturday. Senderos and Hoyte were very good and Theo (although not too effective) worked really hard to bring himself into the game!

  32. Laith

    Im not saying bendtner is better, I just get frustrated with Ade… he has done well but he with the service he gets i think he should score a lot more.. I think thats a fair comment! and im certainly not a yid!

  33. Steve

    To Laith:

    Ade gets the same sort of service as tevez and rooney and torres and drogba and a number of others and hes second top scorer in the league. what more do you fucking want arsehole? i absolutely despair of idiots who clearly just dont understand wtf they are talking about. Scoring goals in the PL is hard and he’s doing it for fun at the moment. maybe we should just cut his wrists and send you a pint of blood as well – prick.

  34. smudger

    Very amusing posts here 🙂 Sometimes the stupidity of a few can tarnish the reputation of the many.

  35. Hansen

    Its plain obvious that people nowadays do not know sarcasm even if it hit them in the face, in the form of a brick. Morons……

  36. Tookey

    Guy! Are u freakin high on pot! Where d f*ck d u get off writing crap like that. Ade has gr8 team spirit + plus he now scores, so what mo do u expect from a forward? He boiled over a few nights back, but he’s publicly apologized. What i don’t get is why u take it so personally like u were Bendtner’s a*slicker!

  37. Asian Gooner

    Entertaining stuff. Really enjoyed reading the comments.

  38. Steve

    To the author

    I really loved this article. It was so funny. I get so sick of people dissing Ade and interpreting stuff to suit there hatred of him.

    AND TO ALL THE MORONS OUT THERE THIS WAS A SATIRICAL PIECE TAKING THE PISS OUT OF THE ADE HATERS WHICH MEANS HE WAS NOT SERIOUS!

  39. Clay

    Ha ha people grow up!!! Funny post.

  40. Laith

    Yeah hes doin well, but RVP would have scored twice as many cos he’s a legend! Ade isnt, im not saying he wont be, but he isnt right now!

    Steve, go fuck yoyrself u arrogant twat! anyway not gonna hang around to bitch with a guy that probably doesnt even have a GCSE to his name… Later!

  41. Joseph

    Who let this moron post this rubbish on an Arsenal site,he’s got absolutely no clue what’s he’s
    chatting about.I think he should be banned from posting our site..by the way does this fool really support the Arsenal? i doubt it !!!!!!!!

  42. Steve

    Laith

    Spelling, punctuation, grammar and reasoned arguments are always useful when attacking someone for their education. However education is not always a guarantee for intelligence as witnessed by your somewhat mis-informed and moronic posts.

    Please don’t go though. You are giving us a great laugh in the office at the moment.

  43. Scooch

    And the funniest thing is there’s still people posting like this is a serious article!!!! JEEEEESUS!!!

  44. Haha!

    Damn right let’s get rid of Clichy as well, waste of space. Ok jokes aside. This post is witty and i guess is dedicated to all these anti-adebayor fans. To the anon who wrote ‘ade is not there yet with the arsenal legend’, well dumbass all of them started somewhere, he is making a name for himself and not in a selfish way. You can see how hungry and determined the lad is and he is only 23. He tries and tries again, bendtner disappear as the game goes by. So give ade a break.

  45. T-buzz

    Who ever wrote the article above has obviously been smoking his/her/its own crack.Or must be a Sp*rs fan. I’ll suggest he/she/it just pull his/her/its lower lip over his/her/its head and swallow!!
    Good game on saturday by the way…

  46. The comments just show how many readers actually “read”..!

  47. Anonymous

    i wonder if that’s because Ade can score goals so that most of people don’t care about his ball skills.
    in football the luck counts! there are a lot of footballers who scored so many goals in a single season or two as if they were really that good, but after that it’s proved the goals they had scored were just some flukes. let’s see!

  48. Steve

    another sigh..

  49. Tunde deinde

    Hey,

    Its very obvious that u are a racist.
    Dat African Guy is the best thing to have happened to Arsenal Ds season.
    In Africa you teach your misbehaved junior a lessson ..which is what Ade did to Bend–or leg tner who is currently surplus to requirement.

  50. T-buzz

    Well said Tunde!

  51. Steve

    You know – the posts are starting to become even funnier than the article

  52. Scooch

    Actually Steve I’m thinking that it’s your sighing thats been the funniest thing so far haha. It really is interesting tho to see quite how many people don’t read articles before commenting on them (or on the other hand do read the articles but don’t understand the “satire” (is satire not politcally minded, or am I now showing my ignorance???) of the piece!

  53. Steve

    Tunde, T-Buzz

    Can you really notsee that the author was being ironic and satirical? perhaps these might help?

    Ironic

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ironic

    satirical

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satirical

    He even said so at the end for gods sake! Read between the lines for Gods sake. The author thinks Ade is great and he is using humour (yes humour!!) to put the Ade haters in their place. You really really need to read the article before you start spouting your “the author is a racist nonsense”. As someone else said- Jeeeeeesus

  54. Scooch

    There you go…. We can’t all be geniuses.

    Satire: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

    I apologise for embarrasing fellow Gooners everywhere with my misinterpretation of satire.

  55. Steve

    I think that anyone who misinterprets the use of satire should be publicly hung, drawn and quartered and then fed to the lions at London zoo…

  56. Ryan

    My God some people don’t know sarcasm when it’s blatantly obvious.

    Please, death to all of those people.

    I quite agree with the article. ffs 18 goals is hardly good enough, Henry normally scored 40 goals by this point in a season and Bentdner would do even better.

  57. (artist formerly known as)eboue's hand

    Brilliant jammathon, brilliant! I didn’t really think your piece was massively subtle in the point that it was making but the responses have depressed me a little as they reveal how many retarded arsenal fans are out there. reminds me a little of the first trip I made from Dublin to an arsenal match where I found myself on a coach full of some of the nastiest little scumbags I’ve ever come across.
    Anyway, you’ve found the perfect way to get a reaction out of people and amuse your more regular readers. Good work.

  58. willy

    ADEBAYOR is: 18 goals out of 28 games this season, good job boy! The statistics don’t lie , but I have a feeling that even if he scores 3 goals in every game some people will still hate him.
    Come on , I hate Nistelrooy , Inzaghi and Raul but I know they are fantastisc players, the statistics don’t lie. Bendtner is a good player, he will be great, he plays for the national team already at 20 , but saying that he’s better than Adebayor now? Come on , you can’t be serious my friend!!!

  59. Steve

    Willy

    HE’S NOT!!!

  60. Nana

    Oh…people are so silly…and so dumb…
    Great article though, really amusing to read and made a great point

  61. Jehan

    guys i think this writer was just being sarcastic … if not than well .. find yourself a mental hospital nearby .. please !

  62. Shravan

    Does nobody else here know what sarcasm is?

    You guys are a bunch of idiots.

    Good article, but a little too much on Bendtner’s back, no?

  63. paulette

    Adebayor is quality – how dare you call yourself an Arsenal fan and slag off our top scorer. Premiership defenders are scared of him – Ferdinand said of him, he was the hardest to mark.
    He works his socks off and never gives less than 100%.
    We need both Ade and Bentner – let’s encourage them both. Ade has fire in his belly – we need that sort of passion to push us over the finish line at the end of the season.
    Watch and weep as Ade helps bring us the title.
    He is magic.

  64. Nice one. Pity the non-ironic commenters.

    On another note, Woodgate – who knew?

  65. Steve

    yet another sigh..

  66. Scooch

    Woodgate will be a great signing for us. Just the kind of CB that we need. He’ll not demand first team action and will be cover until everyone’s back from ACN. Plus (and more importantly) it’ll piss those stupid Spurts fans right off hahaha

  67. jammathon

    Most.

    Satisfying.

    Post.

    Of.

    Mine.

    Ever.

    To my regular readers, (especially Steve), I thank you for sticking up for me. What I love is that Third-Gen in its young age has been plagued with the Anti-Ade brigade, and I have had to come out numerous times to defend him.

    My greatest satisfaction is that I have converted thousands in one fell swoop. I should become a prophet.

  68. jammathon

    It’s funny enough, now.

    DISCLAIMER, IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: “NOTE THE SATIRE”.

    Adebayor is on the banner for a reason. And I dont give a fluff about Woodgate.

  69. jammathon

    For the new readers – Go to this page: Dated 29/12/2007. Written by yours truly.

    https://thirdgen.wordpress.com/2007/12/29/adebayors-in-need-of-a-fan-taking-his-side-here-i-am/

  70. Steve

    LOL well I gotta say this blog has had me in stitches on a slow Monday morning so thanks to you for such a great and funny post. Oh and thanks to the morons for their even better posts taking it so seriously. So sad that it was lost on so many.

  71. Pingback: Newsflash: Arsenal to Steal March on Spurs by Snatching Jonathan Woodgate « third-gen

  72. indian gooner

    well i can’t believe the nuumber of people who have missed the whole point of the article”SARCASM”.
    good to see the blogger stick up for ade.i’m not a big fan of adebayor but he’s having a blinder of a season headed towards 25 goals this season surely. but good to see people atleast supporting ade even if it means targetting the article mistakenly !well done jammathon good article and seems to have generated plenty of response !

    a bit worried about bendtner though, agreed adebayor may have gone over the top ,but this guy(and his dad !) seem to be talking all the time.he should learn a thing or two from other players of his age in the side to just concentrate on the football and the rest will work out .

  73. LOL!!

    Well played Jammathon 🙂

    Truly enjoyed reading the comments! Write one about Wenger sometime in the near future plz!

  74. semata

    Adebayor SUX HARD!!!
    He is just lucky English players sux more than him.

  75. Rob

    Wow, there are some very intelligent people commenting on this blog.

    “PS: Spot the satire in the comment.”

    Dumb fucks.

  76. lol I was a bit caught off guard till I got the humor mate. Ade is legend 🙂 Wrote a bit about him today.

    ArseNole

  77. Pingback: Top Posts « WordPress.com

  78. gogogunners

    hahaha can’t stop laughing! good one blogger

  79. Anonymous

    Never gonnA READ THIS SHITTY BLOG

  80. Top post 😀

    The comments made for the most amusing reading though. Luckily many got it but let’s face it, you need to be shot if you still had not caught on by the time you revealed it was indeed satire.

    Well played.

  81. ADEBAYOR IS 100x better than that dumbass Bendtner

    ADEBAYOR IS 100x better than that dumbass Bendtner!!! so u need to get yo facts straight!!! Bendtner is garbage, has no coordination, has the worst touch in the Premier League and perhaps the whole world, and to tell you the truth i dont remember any of the goals or goal he scored 4 Arsenal so that should tell you something!!!!