A Plea for Sanity: Arsenal Need to Buy Superstars

A moment of clarity is needed. Something to break the ice between warring Arsenal fans, a compromise, a glimmer of rationality and reprieve. Despite allegiances to different blogs (a very new and bizzare banner to vehemently fall under), there is one thing that binds all Arsenal fans together – the desire to spend millions of pounds on a player. Any player. So long as it’s above the £15million mark. That’s what makes a ready-made superstar.

Now, we know Arsenal has its debts, structured though they may be. We know that the club we all claim to love and support has built its base on signing magnificent players of stature and mega-millions. We know the ones – the ones that glitter in the CGI montages in the UEFA Champions League ad-breaks; the ones who get Nike clothesline deals to stop them from joining ‘rival Adidas clubs’, etc. This is Arsenal. We deserve the best.

Now, we know that with the right signings, Arsenal can win the quadruple. It’s a God-given right (FFS). And it’s here that I turn to Tottenham Hotspur. Having recently acquired the signing of Luka Modric (a man who can singlehandedly win the Premier League on his own), they’ve now added to that the talent (well, he’s Mexican, and played for Barca..?) of that dos Santos chap. Two attacking midfielders. Played in the same XI? You tell me how that works.

Recently, Chelsea secured Bosingwa (a man who can singlehandedly win the Premier League on his own), Liverpool got themselves a Degan (a man who can singlehandedly win the Premier League on his own), and Manchester United are lining up Aaron Ramsey (a man – who singlehandedly – will win the Premier League on his own, one day. Guaranteed. No, seriously…)

At this point, Arsenal have only (finally) gotten hold of Carlos Vela after two long loan-spells in the Spanish part of the continent. Vela, incidently, is a man who – singlehandedly – will win the Premier League on his own, one day.

So how will Arsenal assert their divine right (rawr!) on the domestic and European leagues amidst all the anarchy of competing divine rights?

Third-Gen has the answer. Replace the chaff with the wheat.

  • Goalie: Manuel Almunia is shit. Sure, he only saved a penalty that effectively won us a North London Derby, and made little mistakes to speak of, but still. He’s rubbish. Why? Well, because he’s rubbish. Lo and behold, the contemporary edition of ‘A Rationale Argument’. He’s no Buffon. Or Frey. Or Stuart Taylor. And he is certainly no Robert Pires. We need a top class goalie. The ones that wear capes on the pitch. And shoot lightning from their arse. If he can serve pancakes, then that’s an added bonus.
  • Defenders: Its a moot point that Sagna and Clichy are irreplaceable. Afterall, if the PFA team of the year put them in along the flanks, they must be good. It’s the centre of defence that I’m worried about. I know for a fact that Gallas and Toure are just not good enough together. So. We need some SUPERSTAR defenders (because SUPERSTAR is a nice word). I like Mertesacker. I’ve been doing some quintessential Gunners-fan-I-swear-I-am scouting on the German, and my indepth research has satisfied me into concluding he is exactly what we need. Believe me, I know much more than the Economics-Masters degree graduate Wenger and his worldwide scouting network. Click here for the fruits of my labour. Similarly, Kompany or Mexes will do just fine.
  • Midfield: Flamini is gone, Hleb is very likely, and Rosicky is injury prone. Consider the midfield a SATIRE FREE ZONE. We need a midfielder (Nasri?), some beef (Toure, but Im not one to fall for all the ‘well known names’ as likely candidates, and a bit of depth in the form of another utility player. YOU ARE NOW EXITING THE SATIRE-FREE ZONE.
  • Attack: Adebayor. What can one say? I will not be convinced. The man is rubbish. PFA or no PFA. 30 goals could have been 80, last season. He’s no Thierry Henry, and he certainly is no David Villa. We just HAVE to have Villa, and while you’re out shopping, get us a Huntelaar, a Gomes, and a Robinho. Yeah! Take that, Ade. You disloyal misser of goals who we conveniently highlight to ignore the fact that the league was lost by our defence (MERTESACKER FOREVER). Apparently we have about five other strikers as well, so the three signings in this department should provide good competition, and guarantee we swipe -our- League Cup from the Scum!

Phew. I think that about covers it. My team for next season:

Goalie: Buffon.

Defence: Sagna, Mertesacker, Mexes, Clichy.

Midfield: Quaresma. Y.Toure. Fabregas. Robinho.

Strikers: Huntelaar. Villa.

Subs: Kameni, K.Toure, Veloso, Mario Gomes, Jammathon.

I hear there’s another typical Wenger-signing on his way, the next Eduardo (because he’s South African but [wants] to play for Australia). There’s mixed spelling across the forums, but I believe in his native Seth Efrican tongue, his name is properly spelt as Jimmefon (a man who can singlehandedly win the Premier League on his own).

Oh, and replace Wenger with Frank Rjikaard.

That will make us the club the envy of the world.

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89 Comments

Filed under Arsenal

89 responses to “A Plea for Sanity: Arsenal Need to Buy Superstars

  1. Good post, Third-Gen. You’re absolutely fucking right – that team you put up would win the fucking quadruple two or three times. For fuck’s sake, Wenger needs to grow some fucking balls and BUY these fucking superstars – not these fucking no name kids who don’t know a fucking thing about winning fucking trophies.

    So who’s this South African/Australian, anyway? We need a fucking brilliant player for the Socceroos. Fucking hell, we’re in the shit if we don’t beat Qatar next weekend.

  2. jammathon

    I hear he likes to write. Online writing. About Arsenal, mostly.

  3. billy big bollocks

    What a load of shit you useless cunt

  4. Mattc

    Excellent article – I think you’ve summarized all the Arsenal blogs’ output of the last month in a single posting.

  5. zoran

    i do think u r crazy the team u wish for will never be seen at arsenal.

  6. MattC

    I like it but satire is wasted on most fans. They will just read this article and see the words Toure, Villa, Robinho and start getting all excited. Theres way too many losers out there playing chump manager thinking they know better than Wenger.

  7. Spike

    Hahahaha!

    Effin brilliant post mate! Spot effin on!

  8. MattC2

    and also, we should change our name to something more catchy, like Barcelona or Real Madrid or Man Utd

  9. Spike

    Mattc; To prove your point, look above!

  10. jammathon

    Spike, MattC, keep reading, I’ll keep providing.

    And zoran, I’m not crazy. Arsenal just have to show some AMBITION, for once. Frankly, I’m seething with jealousy from the awesomeness that is going on down at White Hart Lane. Seething.

  11. TonyS

    V. silly opinion. Mexes is not consistent player. This is almost like joke article. You should not be allowed on interweb. You hav dirty fingers like Amy Winehouse.

  12. Zordon

    Rubish!

  13. MattC2

    must have ribery, benzema, ben arfa, etoo, richards…. but no, we will some obscure french right back or young spanish midfielder we’ve never heard off and thats simply no good enough!!!!!

  14. jammathon

    It’s almost like a joke article, people. Whisper it quietly.

  15. mehhhhhhhh

    ur nutty mate neva gunna happen and we already have sum superstars! wenger will buy what we need and that not useless cash on players that u think are gud!

  16. jammathon

    mehhhh, you’re an AKB. We dont accept your kind in here.

  17. Cesc Stanix

    How many fucking word duh…and also what is about “(a man who can singlehandedly win the Premier League on his own)”?. too sign superstar players is not about having balls you idiot. It’s about money! “Saving-money” arsenal will not waste their money like debt-frenzy Utd and Chelski. They are cheaters! More than hundreds of pounds spend on the players just to win trophy. Arsenal can win this trophy without debt. I’m fucking sure that next season we can achieve it!

  18. Spike

    Anyone who thinks that Wenger has the slightest clue about football in general should be shot…. out of a cannon from the Grove towards WHL.

    Wenger should be sacked NOW as it is obvious we should sign Buffon, Zidane, pele and Cruyff.

  19. Gunner4life&beyond

    You’re confusing me, are you really jealously seething at what is going on at White Hart Lane or what?

    I thought this was a nice little mickey-take of all the madness Arsenal fans are posting on various blogs, it was damn funny too, unless you were being serious. In which case, huh?????

  20. jammathon

    Heh. Spike = my new best friend.

  21. Spike

    I’m getting confused now! Are people posting piss take posts or are they seriously thick?

  22. jammathon

    And Gunner4life…you were on the right track originally. It’s all taking the mickey. WHL-lines are all part of that.

    I recommend randomly browsing through some articles of Third-Gen to give you more of an idea of what I’m about, here. Try the ‘features section’. And thanks for reading.

  23. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at the people who blatantly haven’t spotted that this is a satirical article. Buggers probably don’t even know what the words “satire” or “irony” mean tbh…

    Brilliant article, loved it

  24. jammathon

    Efosa – I think you’re wonderful.

  25. tafagoon

    loool love it!shows what idiots le grove are…buffon and frey…4 the love of god sign them already!70m?who cares!we have no ambition!debt?no ambition!lol…i love this blog

  26. wandarah

    Ah classic. I just went and read the article on which some of this post *must* be based. Classic work!

  27. Clockend Lloydie

    That weed you’re smoking must be triple strength. Well satirised. Lol!!

  28. jammathon

    No weed, Clockend Lloydie. Just sarsaparella. In a Guinness stout glass I borrowed from a housemate. Have to keep them thinking you’re hardcore, ya know.

  29. Kayo

    There are a lot of weak minds out there, I had no idea my fellow gunners had so many of them, I’m heart broken.

    P.s. I hate wenger.

  30. Man! Why did I just throw away 10 minutes of my day reading this rubbish article?

  31. jammathon

    You could read many other blogs that say the same thing, but mean it. Would that ingenuity make it all the more worthwhile?

  32. Gunner4life&beyond

    Lol, some of the comments are almost as good as this article. They were expecting you to genuinely be pleading for Arsenal to make Superstar signings, pathetic.

    Thanks Jammy, I feel better knowing I didn’t miss the point. Also, I will read the articles you recommended, and anymore you write. Have a good one, you and everyone else enjoy the Euros too.
    I’m liking it so far, Turkey V Portugal was the best, two good teams (Sad that Sagna, Bendtner, Diaby, Eduardo, and Rosicky aren’t there).

  33. Jagung Manis

    what are you an idiot?

  34. jammathon

    No, I just have Arsenal’s truest interests at heart. We’ve moved to a new stadium, so now we should spend lots of pounds sterling. Lots!!

  35. AusGunner

    I don’t know what’s funnier, the article or the comments. Oh well. Well done.

  36. looneygooner

    Devil makes work of idle hands, what is the point of a post like this?, have some patience and let’s judge Wenger on next season, do you want to be like the Chavs, can’t get a fucking manager or fans.
    The Mancs in so much debt, it’s embarrassing having to sell their best player to pay some of the debt off, the Scousers who have a cup manager and twat of a captain who talks out of his arse.

    Why oh why do fans yield to what the scum media say, stability is the key word not over paid superstars who have no loyalty, sure Flamini and Hleb will be missed,but they will be replaced and in six months it will be a case of ‘who?’.

    Ihave never read so many negative bloggs with fans saying who we should buy and who we should sell, fuck me are we all PL managers now.

    This is why I hate reading these sort of bloggs, instead of slating the team and manager let’s try to support the Arsenal.

    I get this sort of negativity when I go to home games but rarely away games, so try to get behind the team,three seasons without a trophy isn’t that fucking bad, go back to the seventies and eighties, now that was barren

  37. looneygooner

    Frank Rjikaard. fuck that, he was the dirty bastard who spat in Voeller’s hair twice during a world cup match and fucked up so bad for Barcelona in last season, great manager?, RM won the league the last three times in a row, so he ain’t that good, all hype.

  38. jammathon

    looney: …satire. For god’s sake, satire.

  39. anon

    do u have a clue about football? ur team is ridiculous, wot a f*cking joke, u nkow u cant just buy everyone in the world that u want and put in one team!

  40. jammathon

    Yes I can. Let me do what I want before I start whining some more.

  41. Adam

    I love this article. Anyone slating it is clearly a complete intellectual retard. Can you not see he’s taking the p!ss out of all you Champ Man wannabe Wengers? Good work, keep it up!

  42. MattC2

    who is this satire – is he a 16 yr old french kid. Hes not good enough i tell you, sign Ronaldo now

  43. jammathon

    MattC2 – you clearly dont get ambition. Yes, we need to sign ready made SUPERSTARS (capitals essential). But we need to give youth like Paolo Vernazza a chance, too. Next season they must start in the first team. In the meantime, we have to buy Ronaldo (I agree), but also Benzema, Jimmy Bullard and Ashley Cole. But Satire is a promising player. And he’s Welsh. So he’ll be awesome. Promise.

  44. I see an AFC Wimbledon situation developing – how about we sell the “Arsenal” name to EDF Energy who can then sponsor a team of their choosing. Then we can use the money we got for it to create “AFC Goonington” or “Highbury Wednesday” and buy all the players you mention above. Buffon would love to turn out in the Blue Square South. Yeah he would. Genius.

  45. jammathon

    Wenger promised signings. I want them now, and to hell with the long term.

    In the meantime, argue yourselves hoarse. I’m off to catch some zzz’s. Au’voir..!

  46. Yardie

    Hey jammathon I haven’t had sarsaperella for years,just thinking about it takes me back to my youth. While we are making changes for the betterment of the club why not urge Jabba the hut and red and white holdings to buy up the club to use as a plaything.

  47. Arsenal Tom

    Hey Jammers,

    I would just like to know if you have anything else in the locker other than satire?

    Do you get off on the fact that some foreign folk don’t get it? Does it make you feel clever?

    Do the other posters feel special when they get the joke?

    Why don’t you try writing something worth while for once. It strikes me that all you can talk about is what other blogs are doing.

    I guess you read anotherarsenalblog recently and thought you’d copy him.

    So what will you be posting about tomorrow? Oh wait, I already know. A satirical jibe at a more popular blog than thirdgen (Le Grove, whisper it quietly).

    Zzzzzzzzzzz.

    Get an opinion Jammers and if you can’t do that, get a sense of humour, that was poor attempt at satire.

  48. Arsenal Tom

    Oh, Jammers, Danny Fiszman said we had £70million available in surplus cash for transfers if Wenger wanted it.

    Check it out.

    You probably know more about the financial situation than him though? We’d best take your word for it.

  49. Arsenal Tom

    Anyway, I am off to catch some sleep, this blog sends me off everytime!

    Thank Jammers!

    Good night all!

  50. T

    lol… brilliant mate.. the type of crap i been readin on blogs all season… FFS we have a brilliant team..the only reason we ddn;t winanything is becoz:

    1)Liverrpool pay the champions league referees

    2)Eduardo injury dd something to our team mentally

    3)RVP,Rosicky,Eduardo have all been unlucky wit injuries.. wich is like Man u without Tevez, Ronaldo and rooney really

    4) bendtner and walcott where not ready until near the end of the season..

    Arsenal do not need a whole host of signing to win anything… all they need is for key players to stay fit and to replace outgoing players such as flamini and hleb with players of equal statue, which in my view song/diaby/denilson can cover for flamini and walcott can take over for hleb.

    i also believe defensive wise we do not really need major surgery… if thuram can come in a plyer/coach role as expected everything will be fine.

    keep up the good work third-gen…great article.

  51. Andy

    overall i think that not the squad we should have. buffon is way to old, kolo is prob one of europes best defenders, without ade’s 30 goals we would be prob playin uefa cup football. ur right in the fact we need a new centre back, defensive midfielder, winger and striker. van persie hasnt played a full game in 18 months which is shocking this season is a make or break for him.
    team for 2008/09
    alumina
    sagna toure gallas clichy
    nasri yaya toure fabregas walcott
    adebayor villa

    subs: fabianski, van persie, vela, denilson, new centre back

  52. Spike

    Looney;

    Away games are where the support is effin brilliant mate. Although this blog aint being too serious.

    Arsenal Tom, whats up? Are you missing Arsenal Dick & Arsenal harry?

    You, my friend are a boring twat, I’ve seen the drivel you spout on Le Grove (aint gonna slate that blog as I think most of the posters are pretty level headed and spot on. Although you so obviously are not.

    You felt the need to come on here coz maybe, just maybe Jammathon was taking the piss out of Le Grove (was he? I aint got a clue) and it upset your wafer thin sensibilities.

    Not surprised you need a kip, you boring fool.

  53. justin

    haha funniest shit ive ever read. I particularly enjoyed the goalie bit

  54. arsen W

    Sank yoo jammyphone foor yor wonderphool exposee on zee cloob requiremants.
    I realize now all zee mistakes I av made all seazon and I will be anding in my notice az soon az I get back from my holiday wiv zee french nationale squad.

    I av asked my friends Jose and Siralex to fill in until Avram gets back from ees holiday.

    I av also put an order in for all zoes wonderful players we dont av – zey should be be arriving in the post by zees time next week. Except for lodoballacks from AC Multan whose journey will take a bit longer

  55. looneygooner

    jammathon. Satire, fuck that, it’s sarcasm all the way,

  56. arsen W

    Satire, sarcasm, free love, devil worship – why get hung up on trivialities of definition! Point is jammathon cracked me up with this post – its not his fault if people dont have a sense of humour !!

  57. James

    haha nice one. great blog post, sums up a lot of posts happening in the arsenal blogosphere at the moment.

  58. wes

    what a tosser………. lets just buy everyone and rule the fucking world , get serious you bell end

  59. Spike

    Wes

    What a BRILLIANT idea! We should sign EVERY single footballer in the world, that way we wouldn’t be left high & dry when our silly players get their stupid leg’s broke and it would stop the Chavs & mancs having any decent players.

    Good work fella.

  60. Le Muppet

    I knew you would come around Jammathon!

    Look at what Top 4 Tottenham are upto….its making me nervous it is. WE NEED SUPERSTARS NOW!

    Why cant Wenger see what we can see? Buy a Kompany, Mexes, Mertesacker and Metzelder for our defence and buy Lahm for our reserve team.

    Midfield: Buy Mouthino, Yaya Toure, Quaresma and Ribery and buy Schweinsteiger to sit on the bench.

    Strikers: Its so freakin obvious…WE NEED TO SELL ADE! Buy Gomes, Benzema, Villa and buy Gomis for our reserves.

    What…you telling me that the above players cost 150 million quid? Who cares..we are working class season ticker holders who wait for 20 mins to get out of the Grove after the game. We deserve our superstars now. So hear us Wenger..SPEND THE MONEY THAT WE HAVE KINDLY DONATED TO YOU!

  61. Microraptor

    Satire?? What ****ing team does he play for then???

    OK what about this:

    Profit

    Cynicism, Greed, Ego, Clichy

    Sarcasm, Irony, Marketing, Hype

    Vanity, Merchandisinger

    On the bench: Shirt-Sales, Wonga-Wonga, Niew-Kontrakt, Offtuu-Barca, Walcott

    Wonga-Wonga could play in the hole behind Vanity OR Merchandising,

    Or we could play a 4,3,3 with Walcott in the centre and Shirt-Sales and Offtuu-Barca as wingers?

  62. Le Muppet and Spike,

    Here is some satire for you.

    We should just save our money and sell a few players. After all, the point of the finance restructure was not to allow us to compete, it was to hinder us even more. Don’t listen to Fiszman, he knows fuck all about Arsenal!

    The whole point of building the stadium was to be in debt for 20 years and spend less than we did at highbury. I don’t like seeing big names at the Emirates, I am all about finishing 4th every year and getting tanned in the Worthless cup and going out of the FA CUP early.

    As long as we have a big cash surplus, I will be happy.

    I am not a season ticket holder though. Spend £1200 on a ticket, no way. That is why I can be so calm about it all, I don’t go every week and just watch the big games. Us arm chair fans are always more rational and intelligent. Fact.

    Don’t give me Mertesacker or Arfa, they are rubbish internationals, lets persevere with Senderos and Hoyte. Organic growth is great! When they get good, we can sell them immediately and promote someone else who can let us down for 3 years.

    I am true Gooner becuase I have Wengers vision!

    Did you get the satire? The sign of good satire is having to constantly remind people that it is satire.

    Satire Satire Satire.

  63. Dave

    Lehmann was over the hill, Almunia is average. You don’t win anything with average. Arsenal and United allowed their opponents roughly the same number of shots on target against them – around 120-130. But Arsenal conceded over 40% more goals.

    In the barren eight-game run, Almunia was conceding from virtually every shot and sometimes (Senderos og) even when the opposition didn’t have one.

    Some of the stuff on blogs spurted is garbage, but the team would have won the league with a better keeper. If you look at the % of shots saved, Almunia is about 8th, while van der Sar was 1st and Cech 2nd – says it al!

  64. Spike

    Arsenal Tom;

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, sorry but you are just so boring.

    How hilarious that you assume I am an Arsene knows afficianado.

    Oh, how clever of you to assume that anyone who doesnt agree is an armchair fan. (I bet you are you lying sod!) Pretending you go week in week out. If you do go, you’re probably one of those ‘supporters’ I see every week who just sit there in stony silence, or who do a Hansen and just whinge about how Cesc misplaced a pass.

    Why mention Senderos or Hoyte? What have they got to do with anything? I would imagine all Gooners feel we need to add to the squad.

    How pathetic is it to feel the need to come on here because it doesnt go along with what another blog thinks/

    Talk about having a closed mind. You’re a bit of a sheep really. If someone doesnt go along 100% with your thinking they are an AKB.

    How many of these players have you seen in action? how many are just youtube superstars?

    Whats the point?

  65. th1978

    arsenaltom hahaha you’re a season ticket holder hahahaha.
    where are you in this clip? http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=55MFxXS-Ans
    those fans they must be the fools you were speaking of.

  66. I didn’t mention AKB.

    Spike, I think you just missed something,

    Satire!!!!!!!!!!!

    My gosh, some people just aren’t on the same wave length as me and Jammers.

  67. TH78, ask Spike about satire. Actually, don’t. He doesn’t get it either.

    Ask Jammers, he’ll teach you!!!!!

  68. Nick

    Please god tell me this is tonug-in-cheek, and that im the only one spottin it, if it is then its a great post. If its no, then………… well……. white coat and streight jacket perhaps?

    Anyhow, i say we should bring Eddie Hapgood out of retirement, and perhaps back from the dead, that guy once played with a twice broken nose! was our captain through numerous legue and cup wins, and booted a ball at Musolini! now that would sell shirts

  69. Arsenal man

    Wenger in line with his youth policy decides to sign 4, four year olds, and trust me having seen them, they are on dummies.

  70. Nick, it is satire. I know it is tough to spot, that’s bad satire for you.

  71. louisquatorze

    Bwahaha. Brilliant.

    In all seriousness, I actually really like Per Mertesacker. I watch a bit of the Bundesliga and if we’re looking for a tall defender, he’s a good one to look at. Skilled, cool-headed, and only 23. Bit spindly, though, and if we’re interested in Werder Bremen players their defense is the last place I’d look. But in general, I like him.

  72. Nick

    thak god for that!, i turn my brain off over weekend, makes spoting this stuff hard

  73. arsen W

    I think the spudz tried to sign Mertesacker but got the name mixed up – I think they have signed sacko’merde instead! But hey, whats new?

  74. Tim

    Great post.

  75. kixzon

    Good post 3rdGen! Make me realise 1single most important thing about fans. God! Are they stupid or what??? I mean, 95% of those who posted their replies HAVE APPARENTLY no idea the message behind your writeout! SATIRE? Most don’t even know what that means & have already displayed their rashness & Mr-Know-All in full glory. God! I still couldn’t believe there are so many of such people around…..

    Thanks 3rdGen for the enlightenment about football fans & their gray matters!

    Long live Arsenal!

  76. Gunner4life&beyond

    Well, all those fans who wanted us to get Mertesacker, or Metzelder. Fuck me, they were the weak links in Germany’s team today. If Poland were better, they would have exploited them and made Germany pay. Don’t try and say they just both happened to have a bad game, everyone else for Germany had a decent game at least. Those two were crap.

    They are good in the Bundesliga? Well then, let them stay there.

  77. jammathon

    And awake! Good morning all. Glad to see you all behaved.

    Incidently, Satire’s “brilliance” (I’m not saying that what you’re reading here is ‘world-class satire’, but just ‘satire’ ) is not determined by how easy it is to spot. That just makes it blatant. Jonathan Swift (the man who wrote the book on political satire) fooled the whole of the English parliament with his satirical pamphlet “A Modest Proposal”. Which made it so brilliant.

  78. jammathon

    Arsenal Tom

    Wenger has said well after Fizman’s comments that he only has something closer to 25mil to spend. While not saying Fizman was telling fibs, it just shows what Wenger is really only willing to spend.

    Finally, this blog is full of opinion. These last few articles that I have written are all my opinion. The numerous articles I’ve written in the last year are my opinion.

    We’re just in a stage where we are bereft of news at the moment. The minute some proper news gets announced (a signing, someone leaving, a major football event, or the friendlies start), I become a reporter again.

    People want some humour in the news-free bit of the year. God, I hate June/July. This is just making it more entertaining for me. I’m a sick, depraved person who gets off on people arguing.

  79. th1978

    hey tommy, so you don’t get your own satire?

    jammathon, judging tommy’s sense of satire your article could be featured as an editorial on le grove soon.

  80. jammathon

    Incidently, there’re a handful of design changes that have been implemented, and a mop-up after my long two month absence earlier in the year is underway. Let me know what you think.

  81. The comments on this blog are becoming unbelievably entertaining. Ever notice how the ones who completely miss the point are also the ones who can’t spell to save their lives?
    Is there any way we could just fast forward the rest of the summer to a stage where that idiot Hleb has gone and we’ve made a couple of solid signings and are about tostart pre-season friendlies?

  82. jammathon

    Eboue! Where have you been, my love?

  83. gooner 4 lyf

    u people are all retards arsenal have no money so how can we buy all dese players u people have no sense dont forget we havent got money for big contracts so da fact dat ur talkin about buffons and robinhos and villas seriously are u mad i would be happy wid nasri,yaya toure in a swap for hleb mertasaker and frey

  84. jammathon

    Not nearly as mad as your spelling.

    Nasri, Yaya Toure, Mertesaker and Frey. Do you have any idea how much that would cost in fees and wages? Hardly any different from the article, now, are you?

  85. Not convincing
    But nevertheless…

  86. every sane human with lulz @ that

  87. every sane human will lulz @ that